May is a motivational speaker. During the pandemic, she moved her classes online. From time to time, she would give one free class to whoever has the time to attend for recruiting purposes.  

After last week's class, some guy from her class added her to the messaging app. The conversation started awkwardly with him asking her a lot of questions about herself but none of them is related to the class. She is starting to get pissed off and asks him point-blank ”what do you want?”

After a long pause, he said that if you have your own business then you might not need the money that I am offering you. Then he went on to say that he would like for her to dominate him and he would pay her $200 per hour for it. And he would like her to do that for him three times a week.

She said I am not the right person to ask that. He immediately responded ”no, no Don’t get me wrong, This has nothing to do with sex, just domination ”

She could not believe what just happened and quickly deleted him from the messaging app. But it still unsettled her quite a bit. She felt she has been seriously violated and that made her very angry.

Finding a dom or a sub is not easy. Even though the apps like FetLife or even tinder can help a lot. It is still a hit or miss type of situation. This guy is so bald and abrasive that he immediately laid it all out without knowing much about the other person at all. It raised all kinds of red flags in other persons' minds and set off the fight or flight response that all humans do when they sense danger.

I believe that a dom/sub relationship is similar or even deeper than romantic relationships, knowing someone first and building trust takes time. But when you do take the necessary steps and find the dom or sub, it could last a long time and give you back much more than originally imagined.