When I was starting out in exploring the vast different plays in BDSM, I would often get confused by different posts, but I found one article from Kinklovers that helped me a great deal and made modifications to it by adding my own experiences and interpretations. So here you go, enjoy and keep exploring!
1. Age play
It is a type of role-play that one party enjoys being treated as if he or she is of another age, mostly younger than actual age. Baby play is very common which involves dressing up as a baby with diapers and pacifiers and the other party becomes the caregiver for the baby.
Any role play that implies big age difference such as daddy to daughter, or mommy to a son, teacher to students would be considered as age play as well.
2. Bondage
Bondage has a wide scope, any activity that limits the freedom of movement of any body parts can be considered bondage. For beginners, you could try using a scarf or belts to tie down your partner's wrists or ankles. A spreader bar would be a great addition to your toy chest for light bondage.
But for the sophisticated players in bondage, full-body suspension, or mummification are very intense and it takes a long time to learn and master.
3. Breast torture
Breasts are very sensitive and can be subjects of worship or the focal point for the scene. Playing with breast allows great eye contact between the top and the bottom and excellent feedback for it is hard to miss the expression of your bottom when you are playing with her breasts.
There are many sex toys designed specifically for breast torture such as suction devices and clamps. Leather clothing that supports and reveals the breasts is also fantastic at the beginning of the scene. Bondage, wax play, whipping and flogging, and even writing naughty words in the breasts are all great ideas to go over with your partner and try it out.
4. Breath play
Many people put hands on their partner's throat during sex, which could be considered a type of breath play. The goal is to partially or temporarily cut off the air supply which would result in euphoric lightheadedness and bigger orgasms.
Breath play is also referred to as asphyxiation. It involves smothering, choking, masks, or even going underwater. Consenting to breath play usually signifies deeper trust between partners or giving more control to the top. It is risky and there are injuries or even death reported when performing breath play. So proceed with extreme caution after proper education and safety preparations.
5. Caning
Many have seen in old movies that teachers would cane schoolboys when they misbehave. Some might have experienced it themselves as kids but have mixed feelings about it now. So when doing a teacher and student or police and criminal role play scene, caning could be a great fit.
We should try to limit the caning to the bottom, the thigh but avoid near the kidneys, face, tailbone, knees, ankles, feet, hands, or head.
6. Chastity
Chastity is a form of control that the submissive was not allowed to touch or use their genitals except for urination. Cock cages, chastity belts are commonly used and locked during the play and the dominant would hold the key to the devices used and decide when to release the sub from the play. The play can be short as part of a scene or can be days as a game of teasing and denial.
7. Collaring
To put on a collar signifies a serious dom/sub relationship or even ownership. Being “collared” is a ritual that is celebrated and remembered by both parties as significant milestones in the relationship. Some might consider the collar to be as meaningful as wedding rings is to married couples.
A leather collar with rings for adding a leash or restraint is used in play most often. On the other hand, a necklace or pendant that has the engravings might be worn during daily activities.
8. Cock & Ball Torture
Short-form CBT, this type of play diminishes, humiliates and tortures men and their genitals. But it is surprisingly popular in BDSM lovers to have their partners do their worst in CBT play.
CBT could be as easy as grabbing, teasing, or could use sophisticated toys such as electro-stimulating, sounding, or CBT furniture.
9. Cuckold
A cuckold fantasy involves a guy that allows his women to be fucked by another man either in front of him or not. It is one of the most popular fetishes and we could explore the reason a bit here:
a. Increase sex drive and testosterone of the cuckold
Men are competitive creatures. Watching another man having sex with your partner brings up very strong emotions. It makes men more possessive and the partner more attractive. Men also get a jolt of added testosterone and also the sperm count goes up as well.
b. Voyeurism and exhibitionism are part of the cuckold fetish
Some cuckolds are not present during the act, they are at home alone feeling anxious and excited. But many do request to be there in person when the ”bull” is having his way with the lady. Seeing other people engaging in sex or having other people watch makes it much more exciting for them.
c. Humiliation is built in the cuckold fantasy
Men were deemed inadequate or not manly enough to hold on to their wives when a cuckold situation happened. Or it could be implied that the cuckold has a small penis or impotent so their wives have to find sexual satisfaction outside their marriage. All these implications might not be true, but the humiliation factor is definitely real.
d. Some men have performance anxiety and doubt themselves if they can satisfy their female partners, and it could be a relief to know they can find another man on occasion to do that for them.
10. Cupping
When cups are heated from inside and applied to the skin, it creates suction and increases the blood flow to the area. When it is done to a certain erogenous area, the sensation and pressure could be very pleasing and powerful.
11. Domination and submission
Domination and submission on the surface mean one party is in charge and makes decisions for the other party. It could be just for a scene or it could be for days even months. Most BDSM plays have some aspect of dom/sub in them.
12 Edge play
As the saying goes, Living On the Edge. Edge play means to play to the limit or even pass the limit just a little. The types of play are not limited, just more than what you used to. But some use the term edge play on riskier plays such as knife play and breath play.
When doing Edge play, a discussion of more safety precautions and what to do when things go wrong is warranted.
13. Electrostimulation and electro-play
EMS devices( Electric Muscle Stimulators), violet wands, electric fly swatter are some examples of what could be used to punish your submissive during a BDSM play. For people who have never tried it, it sounds scary and intimidating, which is exactly the point of using these devices. But in general, these devices produce a twitch in the muscle or prickly sensation on the skin, it is not as bad.
14. Facesitting
It is more common for a female dom to sit on the face of her submissive. The act of facesitting has a touch of dom/sub feel built into it and the sub enjoys pleasuring the queen on top. Many furniture is designed to help support the weight of the dom and allow for longer play.
Male doms can enjoy facesitting as well.
15. Feederism
In Feederism, the participants are called feedees and feeders. Feedees are usually women that agreed to be fed by their partner to gain weight. Feeder would usually control her time, amount of feeding, and type of food she is eating.
Feederism is related to fat fetish as the goal is usually to fatten the feedee up to a much bigger size than before. This would allow additional kinks like squashing and gut flopping play as well.
16. Fire play
Fire can heat up an area of skin very quickly when it is applied near the skin, it also brings a lot of visual excitement and of course, danger. Fire play requires planning beforehand and have extensive experience.
Specifically, fire play can take the forms of flaming whip or flogger, fire cupping, brief lighting of a flammable liquid on the skin, candle play or even tapping the skin with a lit torch.
(Stay tuned for the next episode ;)