This story is from Sean and he is a guy in his forties and he recounted his first in person BDSM encounter with a FemDom.
I like orgasms, thrills, excitements of the BDSM scene. But over time, I find that these things are not that strong to keep me going back to it. I am able to get these feelings through other means. I get runner’s high when I was competing in a triathlon, I remember that I was on the bike in the last lap, I was feeling the wind in my ears and for no reason at all, I just started to laugh out loud for a long time. The feeling of total body release was so memorable that it brings me joy just to think about it. Reading a book, watching a movie, talking with friends can all bring tremendous joy. A vacation, a great meal, a walk during sunset, are so satisfying to me as well.
Why the heck do I need BDSM? I had a lot of awkward encounters trying BDSM. When I called a dominatrix and scheduled my first appointment. I was full of sweat. When I showed up, meeting her for the first time, I wanted to turn around and run away. She asked me to strip all of my cloth, I did not object but did it very slowly and embarrassed to my core. I did not get a turn on throughout the whole session.
After her usual routine, she finally asked me: “ Why do you want to be here? " After a long silence from me, she continued: “My other clients get very excited before they even knock on the door. They have a huge boner when I ask them to strip.” She was not sure that I enjoyed any minute of it.
But it was a huge step for me. I thought about doing something about my fantasies for a long time. I keep putting it off for a lot of reasons that I am not sure how to articulate. I was afraid to be humiliated, to embarrass myself, and to be ashamed of myself. If it was only in my head, that I never put it into action, maybe I was not that bad, right?
The release I got out of this session was that I finally made the first step. I was proud of myself for doing so and it felt like a huge load has been lifted. I was free and I like to do more!
P.S. the Bonding from Netflix is a fun drama about dominatrix and her life.
