Is BDSM a Lifestyle?

The answer, my friend, it depends. I am warming up to the idea of living BDSM full time but I am not there yet. I love the communication part of the lifestyle, I was not very open about my desires and wants with my intimate partners in the past and this has changed for me when I started to learn and practice BDSM. I like it more and more and now it is becoming part of my identity. 

According to lunaKM from submissiveguide.com: 

“BDSM is a Lifestyle for me. I live it all the time, it's who I am. This is not the case with over half of the known BDSM population. The range of participation varies greatly. I can't say that I know the exact numbers, but I know that out of 10 people I could meet in a room, 7 of them probably do not identify as Lifestyle BDSM'ers. That's fine with me, we can still chat kink and not get all uncomfortable because we aren't EXACTLY alike, right?

There are many different roles you can play in BDSM as well, from Top, Dominant or Master to bottom, submissive and slave. There are also variations on these roles as well depending on the type of dynamic you want. You could be in a Daddy/little girl or Mommy/little boy dynamic. You could be in a Poly Master/slave household where you are the alpha. You could just be kinky and love the fun stuff in the bedroom. It's all available to you.”

In Cosmopolitan:  these five people gave their own take on the BDSM lifestyle.

  • “I love restraint and/or impact play. I enjoy being choked, bound, spanked, and bitten and exploring breath play. While bound, I enjoy wrist and ankle cuffs as well as being bound with rope or silk scarves. Being restrained allows me to submit fully, so adding a blindfold into the mix with bondage incorporates sensory play and makes everything that’s done to my body feel ten times better.” —Tammy*, 31
  • “I love corporal punishment, tease and denial, and worship.” —Jane*, 33
  • “Bondage and role-play are big parts of my sex life with my dominant: ropes, duct tape, ball gags, typical ‘damsel in distress’ stuff. In our heavy scenes, I like to experience toys like floggers, paddles, and canes for intensity and then rabbit fur or feathers for a counterbalancing soft effect. It all tends to act more like foreplay before sex. But it’s not uncommon to incorporate things like spanking and nipple play in our lovemaking as well.” —Denise*, 29
  • “Specifically, I like edge play that involves some amount of restraining the other person while asphyxiating them off and on. I’m also super into sensory deprivation. Most people find they also are because it heightens anticipation. Let me be clear: Most of this cannot happen on a bed.” —Allison*, 25
  • “I really like domination, impact play, and restraints. I also love bare-bottom spanking or using implements like whips or paddles to cause sensation on my skin from light to intense. I also love doing strap-on sex with partners (especially with my male partners).” —Kayla*, 33

 

So, what do you think? Are you a lifestyle or are you just curious?